Weddings

Are these weddings ruining the institution of marriage?

This man married his dog.

In this wedding a women married a dead man. He had been dead for 5 days before marrying him. They got married in a mortuary and was accompanied by bridesmaides, friends and family while the priest blessed the air. She even gave him a ring and concluded the cermony by kissing the courpse.

I believe that these are absolutly undermining the institution of marriage. Getting married to a dead person and to a dog in my mind is absolutly outragous. Marriage should be about two people in love and celebrating their union and I dont know how it can be possible to celebrate a union to a dog or corpse.

Now what about gay marriages?

Some people believe that this type of marriage is also outragous. I do not agree with this statement. I beleive that two people in love, regardless of sex, should be able to celebrate their special relationships in the same way that a heterosexual relationship would. This rite of passige shows the celebration of two people in love -- fully functioning people, not like a courpse or dog -- and should be accepted in todays postmodern culure.

I have a friend who is gay and has a boyfriend. Even though I do feel like I do have some troubles seeing public displays of affection between the two, I accept that it was a life they choose for themselves and accept the relationship between them. I would go to their wedding (if it were to happen) and celebrate their union as I would go to a heterosexual couples wedding. They are in love and should not be told that this love is wrong because you believe yours is the only way.

Learned Helplessness

Learned Helplessness

I believe that because of women always having to do something their way or the perfect way men develop learned helplessness when it comes to household chores. My boyfriend and I are cohabitating and I know for myself I will always get as much housework done before he gets home from work so he doesnt feel obligated to do it when he gets home. I believe I do this because I know if he were to do it I would  be constantly watching over what he does and nagging him to do it the "correct" way. For me I know it is much easier just to do the chores myself, it gets done quicker and also doesnt start an argument between my boyfriend and I.

As many other girls mentioned in the class, I do most of the housework, but I dont mind it because I feel it to be cleansing. I am a very organized and clean person and I know that when my house isnt clean I get really anxious, have a hard time concentrating on homework in my home, and also have harder times getting to sleep because I stress about how clean it is. 

For myself I believe that my boyfriend has developed learned helplessness because of being so paticular with how I want everything to be done. 

Monster- in- Law

Monster in law is a movie staring Jennifer Lopez, Michael Vartan and Jane Fonda. This movie shows a negative realtionship between the mother of the man and the women who is about the marry the man.

Plot:

After years of looking for Mr. Right, Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini finally finds the man of her dreams, Kevin Fields, only to discover that his mother, Viola, is the woman of her nightmares. A recently fired news anchor who is afraid she will lose her son the way she has just lost her career, Viola determines to scare off her son's new fiancé by becoming the world's worst mother-in-law. While Viola's long-time assistant Ruby does her best to help Viola execute her crazy schemes, Charlie decides to fight back and the gloves come off as the two women battle it out to see just who is the alpha-female.

 

Monster in Law Tailer

Mother-in-Law

Just like the majority of the class, I would place more importance on the relationship with the in-law family even prior to becoming married. Being welcomed and accepted into my significant others family is a very important part in whether or not I will be pursing the relationship futher.

Personal experence: During and after high-school I was involved in a two and a half year relationship. His father had passed away so his only parent was his mother. She was very protective of him because he was the last child to still be living at home and having me in his life she thought of it as “taking him away” from her. She did all what was in her power to break the relationship up. She would invite other girls our age over to the house (and tell him how great of a girlfiend she would be), she would create long lists of things that need to be done so he wouldnt be able to see me and would also tell him straight up that he was not to see me any longer. Because he had lost his dad and felt obligated to do and listen to what she had to say, he would pursue her wishes. This put alot of stress on our relationship and was one of the major reasons in which we are not together today.

I beleive that being welcomed into the family and being accepted for their son is a major part and sometimes an ultimate part in pursing a relationship. I know for myself I could not handle the stress the mother had put on me and destroyed the relationship I had been in. I personally would concider my partners family before taking the leap to becoming married.

Internet Dating: Eharmony

To discover the filtering process in autonomous mate selection I looked into the online dating website Eharmony.com. This site absolutely follows the seven stages of mate selection as discussed in class. The questions to be answered to find your perfect mate narrows the selection of potential mates from a pool of eligible’s to the individual person you will pursue.



1. Step one is to find a pool of edibles
- By going on a dating site, you are automatically exposed to eligible potentials looking for another mate themselves.
-EHarmony is the dating site I will look at and this website shows the millions of potential mates.

2. Decide Gender preference
-Decides if within the pool you are looking in, if you are looking for a male or female and if you yourself are male or female.
- The first question asked on the web site is “I am a ______, seeking a _____”

3. Look for People within Propinquity and sex ratio
- Looks for people in a relative area you are currently living in.
- The second question on the website asks for the individual’s postal code and country.
- Looks at how far you are willing to search to find mate.

4. Does Endogamy and Exogamy have an affect in choosing mate?
- Endogamy is choosing someone within a group and exogamy is choosing someone not in our group (for example not choosing our relatives)
-I believe that if someone is looking on an internet dating site the factors of endogamy and exogamy won’t be a concern.

5. Homogeny
- Choosing someone in our age region, religious background and ethnicity.
- The next questions on the website include “how important is your match’s age to you” and then show a scale from not at all to very important.
- It then asks questions about current marital status, education levels, and the importance of your mate’s education to you. It asks about income, occupation, height (importance)
- It asks for ethnicity and the importance of your match’s ethnicity and the ethnicities you would be willing to accept as matches.
- Then asks what religions you affiliate with yourself, what religions you would accept you’re matched to be affiliated with, and the importance of your match’s religion.

6. The next step is to look at value and role similarity
- This is often one of the things that we think about the most.
- The EHarmony website next addresses this step.
- The website asks questions such as: I do things according to plan, I take time out for others, I feel unable to deal with things, I love to help others, I seek adventure, I often leave a mess in my room, I carry conversations to a higher level, I get stressed out easily, I often make others feel good, I am good at analysizing problems, I usually stand up for myself, I am easily discouraged, I can handle allot of information, I waste my time, I catch on to thinks quickly, I usually wait for others to lead the way, I love order and regularity, I often do nice things for people, I get angered easily.
- It also asks questions such as: I am looking for a long term relationship that leads to marriage, exclusiveness within a relationship, importance to have close friends within their life, ect.
- Looks at potential mate’s love of children, beliefs, personality, ability to communicate, similar ideas about parenting, partners interests, animal rights, volunteering, healthy diet, church involvement, ideas about the environment, living skills, helping less fortunate ect.
- Talks about looking for partners who smoke or don’t smoke, drink or not, have children in their home, accepting those children in the family, and the want to start another family.

7. The last step is to choose cohabitation or marriage.
- This step would be prior to the mate selection.
-The steps in the website do ask about wanting to have a long term relationship leading to marriage.

EHarmony is a website the shows each of the steps for finding a potential mate through the filtering process. It doesn’t miss a step and infact goes into each one in detail with many questions and selections that can be made within each stage. This website, I’m sure, helps many people in finding a potential lifelong partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y_FLOGDSCo

This Youtube Video shares the success stories and some details about how Eharmony works.

Hitch

Sara: I heard every word. You're a scam artist. You trick women into getting...
Hitch: Into getting out of their own way, so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance!
Hitch: Okay, no no no no. I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. Because this - this right here - this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!

“Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”

I believe these quotes reassure the main point the Time Magazine article was trying to get across. The quotes show great people may be missed because of the expectations women may put on when finding a potential mate. When Hitch quotes that his job is to gives men a fighting chance, as in Albert Brennaman and Alegra Cole, he shows the difficulties it is for a man to pursue a women with the “lists” and “molds” of ideal men that women create. The second quote states that his job is to open a woman’s eyes to men who would otherwise go unnoticed. This man would go unnoticed also because of the mold women create when finding a mate. Women often look for a tall, handsome, perfect guy and often over look all others that don’t meet this criteria or checklist. These quotes from the movie Hitch proves the argument in the Time Article.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386588/quotes

The Mans Guide To Love

From the time article we see the list of things that a woman doesn’t want when going out to find a boyfriend, husband, ect. But where do men get the advice to guide them to a lasting relationship or finding a relationship. The man’s guide to love gives advice to other men about relationships and love with the demanding and list orientated women.

http://www.themansguidetolove.com/about/